A monologue

Mom's sitting up, conscious and alert but not able to say much.

This is the story I just told her while holding her hand, stroking her head and gazing into her eyes.

"Hi mom. There are some things I'd like to tell you and you don't have to talk. You can just listen and you can even close your eyes.

I wanted to thank you for being the best wife, mother and grandmother we could ever hope for.

I wanted to say how sorry I am that I caused you so much pain and worry because of my illness. I was so difficult as a teenager and I know how scared you were coming home after work because you thought you'd find me dead.

I know we didn't understand what was wrong with me but I'm still sorry we had to go through it.

You never gave up on me, never stopped believing in me and, because of that, you saved me.

You don't have to worry about me anymore. (She said at this point, "Don't say that.")

I know mom, I know. You'll always worry about me. But I'm telling you I'm much better. I went for a run yesterday and I'm writing. I have Paula and Claire and the rest of my family. I don't want you to worry about me anymore. I'll be okay, I promise.

I know you didn't always have confidence in yourself and your abilities but I wanted to tell you some things about you that I love and make me so proud to call you my mom.

You are such an amazing artist. You work in so many different mediums. You painted in oil, acrylic and watercolour and you used pastels, charcoal and pencil crayon. You made beautiful Ukrainian Easter eggs, you cross-stitched, you knitted and crocheted and you made our clothes when we were younger.

Do you remember when I was a young boy and I wanted a poster of Darth Vader? We didn't have the money for it, so you found a picture of him and drew him in charcoal and you used red pastel for his light sabre. You then framed it with a frame you probably got at Woolworth's and gave it to me. I was so happy to hang that on my wall. I still have it at home. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

Mom, you had so much success in your professional life. You worked in a law office, then you moved to the school board and then Nicholson (the high school I went to). I may have pretended not liking having my mom work at the school I went to but I loved the fact you were right down the hall from me and I could see you every day, not just after school.

You started all over again many years later in Barrie answering phones at an insurance company. You were so good and so smart they saw your potential and made you an insurance adjuster. You used to get phenomenal reviews and raises and I know you were proud of that and so were we.

But the thing you were best at -- and the thing I am most proud and thankful of -- is the life's work you did as a wife to dad, a mother to me and Chris and Steven and a grandmother to Claire, Mackenzie, Megan, Joshua and Alyssa.

Thank you for being so funny, so loving, so special to all of us.

Oh mom, you are the most amazing person and I love you so very much. You are so beautiful.

Now I need you to sleep.

Please sleep mom.

I'll be right here."